Pitfalls of being beautiful

Arya was that one ideal girl I totally adored. I never met Arya in person. But I never felt like she was unknown to me because she was one constant person I felt I could totally vibe with, despite the fact that I was too uglier as compared to her. Her Insta profile was the one thing in this entire world that I never felt tired of watching, to sum up everything I was obsessed with her. It is not easy to influence charismatically to me but Arya had it all, that beauty, that strong academics, that impressive record of extra curricular activity and on top of that a pretty heart even more beautiful than her physical appearance. How do I know all these? 

It's my guilty pleasure to stalk her Instagram profile. I imagined how would my life look like if I was as pretty as she was, I would literally be celebrated in my school especially in the world that is marching to have cosmetic surgery being done to look ‘’pretty’’, I would be favored so much, I would be appreciated by boys, I would easily convince authority and the people, I would feel so damn proud of myself whilst I see the mirror. 

How would pretty girls feel about themselves, I had this inquisitive forever. It's been a few days that she has been posting really dark posts. Once she shared in her story that she had a breakup with her boyfriend. I replied to her Insta story saying, ‘’How can someone leave as pretty as you ? Don't worry.  You have it so easy because your beauty can win over anything, a lot of girls like me struggle everyday to get up and face oneself. You are always high on confidence, you might be so happy.’’

After three days she replied to my message highlighting three words, ‘’leave’’, ‘’easy’’ and ‘’happy’’.  I was thrilled to receive a message from my idol and at the same time I was confused what these highlights meant.

 On the first day of my college and to my surprise, I met Arya in my college. I was quite intimidated by seeing her in my class, I already felt like a shadow of her won’t allow me to shine. One thing I didn’t know about Arya through her profile is that she was a very opinionated person and it was not easily acceptable to the patriarchal society. She suffered massive backlash because of this. I felt a ray of hope to shine amidst this chaos. Things went like this, Arya continued to be Arya and I remained as I was.

After a year, Arya and I coincidentally became friends. I remember our conversation started saying, “ Remember I messaged you”. I still had doubt on Arya, that she being beautiful would show me tantrums and dominant over me. Many friends would suggest I stay away from her as they called her “self-centered”. Sometimes I would believe in them and sometimes I didn’t.  

In the course of our friendship, I think I know Arya not as that Insta Arya but her aura. Being Arya is not as easy as what I used to see of  her. I used to hate Arya but why? I never found it until I realized I was only insecure about her that she would take my place, subconsciously. Arya wasn’t there to take anyone’s place but she was there to establish her own place. People hesitate to see Arya more than a pretty face. She was fed up with people saying to her, “She is pretty so she gets it so easy. She is just a pretty face.” Arya wanted to represent her soul, not her physical attractiveness. She was verbally bullied constantly saying that she was beauty without a brain, physical beauty doesn't last long, she knew it was coming from an insecurity of an envious heart themselves but she never showed anything.  People had many title names for her, one being “arrogant”. I think the price of beauty is not easy, Arya never has freedom to have mood swings else she will be called “proudy”. If she happens to have a boyfriend, she is using him for his money and if she breaks up, then people start commenting, ‘’What the hell does she think about herself. She ain’t that beautiful either’’. She knew people would say to her, “Pretty faces don’t have good character, they are self obsessed”. They told that she never earned anything in her life with hard work. She was privileged to have that face undoubtedly but she was prone to abuse higher than what she could achieve with that. Just because she was pretty people used to say that she could never have insecurities and if she confronted about it people would declare she was just seeking ‘’attention’’. Poor Arya, she used to share stories about her encounter with molestations and harassment just because she was pretty and attractive. She got trapped with a lot of lustful eyes that entered in the name of ‘’love’’. Her face came in front of her innocent soul that craved for nothing else but a pure passion of love. Although pretty face attracts a lot of attention but they are equally more vulnerable to negative energy and intentions of people, but we have never been much kind to them. 

Beauties such as Marilyn Monroe, Madhubala, Divya Bharti etc were part of mysterious death why? Their love life didn’t become successful as even the normal ones, why? 

Arya is walking unwillingly, unknowingly with a suspicious eye of the people on her and the responsibility of the way she should carry herself  and constant pressure to look a certain way everyday in the world. Arya is not considered human, she is meant to be a barbie doll made up of plastic and obviously they don’t cry.

Until I met Arya I never realized every face has a struggle, every brain carries its own pain, every heart has a story.