7 DAYS OF HAPPINESS 2

DON’T FALL IN THE WEB OF SLAPDASH ‘’POSITIVITY’’

‘’Oh ! try to think positive’’,

‘’Your mind is filled with negative emotions towards that person, get rid of it’’,

‘’Stop overthinking’’

‘’Stop exaggerating’’

‘’Be positive’’

Sometimes I find it so funny that almost everyone is Guru busy delivering ‘Powerful Tips to Develop Positive Attitude in someone else’s life’. It’s so easy to advise people, isn’t it ? ‘’Do like this, think like this, whatever you say might not be completely right’’, we should listen to both parties, don’t misinterpret things’’ are what I would expect from people. I know they were trying their best to escape my mind from negativity. But instead of diverting my mind, my mind would get even worse thinking that nobody understands me, my trouble, but all are so desperate to be a GURU. 

I believed nobody actually tried to see the situation standing on my feet. I don’t know if I had soaked incomplete knowledge or what but I started believing that thinking positive is a must and everyone has positive thinking.I mastered the art of being silent even where there was a lot to say. But whenever the situation was a bit uncomfortable to them, those same people would bang their head on the wall. I wondered where that advice vanished. Eventually, I realized it is so easy to blame certain things, to pass the verdict of right and wrong, to expect people to think positive in every situation. Many people said, ‘’This shall pass’’ but did they really care when it passed, it might carry me as well ? Most of the time to meet the expectation of people I started acting like nothing mattered, that I was calm and wise, I didn’t respond to anything. 

Most of the time, I found negative things so alluring that it can really bring up temptation to embrace them. For example, gold, money, alcohol, gambling, jealousy, disappointments, anger etc., and it was so damn hard to command my mind to think positive.

But aren’t we humans? Are we a machine that only reads the program that commands, ‘’Think positive, think positive’’. As humans, we are made out of emotions and two poles in the brain, how can we discard that all of a sudden just because we are expected to be someone that we cannot perfectly be ? I wouldn’t have got so much of courage to share that I do think negatively until I read my life changing book, ‘’The Subtle Art of Not Giving A  Fuck’’. This book changed my mind.  

I don’t really get what thinking positive as general people say is related to thinking everything positively ?

 If someone is not giving you good vibes and you are uncomfortable then we should feel positive ? 

If someone kills you, then you should feel positive ? 

In fact, there is no hard and fast rule to be a positive person. Thinking positive has lots of benefits. But I think our approach is not quite effective. We want our mind to think a certain way in the outer crust but in our inner core we are suppressing our negative emotions, because we want to be accepted by people. Thinking negatively is also one of the  evolutionary adaptations to any danger that you can sense in order to survive, it’s not completely wrong just as positive poles exist. 

We have this wrong habit of jumping into conclusions about positive thinking without analyzing the direct quote of the person with an open mind. When we do this, we are not contributing to maintaining mental health but we are worsening it. When we don’t learn about the process then the final report can be biased. We often repress feelings in fear of judgements. Avoiding emotions can also “lead to problems with memory, aggression, anxiety and depression”. A study from the University of Texas found that by not acknowledging our emotions we're actually making them stronger. Repressed emotions can also factor into mental health conditions, such as stress, anxiety, and depression. These issues often cause physical symptoms, including: muscle tension and pain, nausea and digestive problems. The fact that I have realized over years is that we don’t actually think everything positively, rather we pretend that we think positive to be acceptable, to appear inspiring. Why do they want to appear that way? If you want to ask me this, in return I want to ask a question, what does the world want ? Open enemity or futile friendship ? Outwardly, I know many people would answer that open enmity is far better than being fake but that’s not the case. I am sure everyone is hurt by someone badly at one point of life, no individuals care if they have been healed or have they forgotten, but the only mantra is, ‘’Life goes on’’. Had they preferred open enmity, every single person would have been staying alone, feeling lonely. It’s not wrong completely as well because both have risks in their own perspective. When you suddenly discard the negative emotions, you don’t end that part right there, you try to deviate yourself but eventually one day they will explode whatever remains as the stress in your mind. Why is there so much of hustle and bustle to discard something, you can take a few moments to overlook the situation, understand it, critically analyze it and liberate it slowly in between the process. Can you make the cake by just mixing the raw ingredients and making the serving plate ready ? Obviously no. Mind does not work in shortcuts, does it ?

Am I suggesting people to adopt negative thinking ? Absolutely not. Negative attitudes and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can create chronic stress, which upsets the body's hormone balance, depletes the brain chemicals required for happiness, and damages the immune system. Chronic stress can actually decrease our lifespan. I am just trying to be persuasive that the world gives so much pressure to ‘’Think positive’’ that becomes so insensitive while communicating human emotions.

Investment on self is never wasted for inner and outer excellence. When you start repeating the incident that took place and initiate a monologue between you. You start realizing your mistakes, you will understand why people got offended and where you went wrong. If you don’t find any reason you simply feel happy because you feel you won, you were perfectly correct. Second benefit, you don’t forcefully discard the negative thoughts, it gets removed slowly in natural phenomenon that makes it even easier to let things go. Thwarting emotions is not good for mental or physical health. It’s like pressing on the gas and brakes of your car at the same time, creating an internal pressure cooker. Emotions have energy that pushes up for expression, and to tamp them down, our minds and bodies use creative tactics—including muscular constriction and holding our breath. We tend to avoid painful or conflicting emotions in their lives—just as most of us do, because that’s what we were taught. But to heal the mind, we need to experience the emotions that go with our stories, and those are located in the body. When we are taught about the automatic nature of emotions and learn to identify and work with the core emotions beneath our anxiety, we feel and function better. 

Have you laughed at the problems that were once invincible to you ? Have you pitied yourself when your memory reminds you of a time you had fought with your best friend over petty issues ? Multiple times, right. It is not only because you solved that problem but also because you gave time to that situation, rewinding it, recorrecting it. In course of time, every emotion becomes less powerful. When there is no pressure to perform in a certain way, everything becomes naturally solvable.

(Leaving with a positive note )